Dear friends, family and anyone who reads this blog:
I need your help! I'm speaking at a stake Relief Society fireside on Sunday and need some ideas on the topic of self esteem and loving ourselves. I have a pretty good outline but would love to add some stories of people's personal experiences or insights on learning to love yourself and feeling confident about who you are.
Here are a few questions you might think about:
-What experiences in your life have helped you overcome self doubt and feel special, beautiful, loved or valuable?
-When you feel negative thoughts about yourself creeping in, is there anything you do or say to chase those thoughts away?
-how do you avoid self esteem pitfalls such as comparing yourself to other people?
- who is the most beautiful woman you know and what makes her beautiful?
Any comments or stories would be much appreciated! Thanks everyone!
8 comments:
Eek! Good luck. I'm not one who would be much help - I'm constantly comparing myself to others and getting down on myself for not doing all the things they're doing. I will think about it and get back to you if I have any super ideas.
I wish I could be there to hear you speak - I'm sure you will do great!
It probably sounds cliche but whenever I start feeling worthless and start berating myself for my imperfections, I go to the temple. I feel such an amazing sense of God's love for me when I hear all the blessings He has promised me as His daughter. It no longers matters what other people think, because I'm reminded that my Father in Heaven loves me for who I am, no matter what imperfections I pick out about myself.
Becca! I am so excited to hear you speak on Sunday. After reading this plea for ideas, this is the first thing that came to mind:
I have an amazing older sister (just older than me) who I grew up comparing myself to. I didn't realize it, but I had become quite resentful of her, based solely on the fact that I considered her to be far more beautiful than myself (boys would always tell me how cute she was - I HATED that) and let this resentment fester inside of me. Silly? Yes. But I was an insecure teenager. It wasn't until my sister had left for her mission and I heard a talk by Elder Holland ("The Other Prodigal") in General Conference, that I realized what a terrible sister I had been. (side note: my sister is in NO WAY a "prodigal son", but I would definitely categorize myself as "the other prodigal"). Here's a few quotes:
"Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.
Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other."
These are just a few of the things Elder Holland said (it's a GREAT talk - even if it's completely irrelevant to what you are looking for, I totally recommend reading it!) I realized when I heard this, I had been completely selfish in not giving my sister much-needed encouragement and praise over the years. She had insecurities of her own and she had needed the encouragement, but I was unwilling to give it to her. Had I been a better sister, we could have had a much stronger relationship growing up. Thankfully, this talk was a turning point for me. I am so close with my sister now because I see that Satan is the one who would have me believe that she is better than me, prettier than me, friendlier than me, etc. But like Elder Holland said - "The race is against SIN - not each other" We all need to cheer each other on! I love to compliment people now because I know what it's like to be an insecure woman. Imagine how much better we would all feel about ourselves if we DIDN'T withhold compliments and felt completely okay complimenting each other without feeling the need to compare ourselves. I even compliment complete strangers - weird, but it always makes me feel good to tell somebody - "hey! I love your hair! Or "those are really cute shoes!" even if I don't know them. It's possible that they just may not know how beautiful and talented they are.
Anyway...that was a lot.
I sing I am a Child of God over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until the message sinks with me. I compare ALL THE TIME! I despise it, then I get annoyed when other people do it! Blah. So, I sing! I sing to help myself feel better when I start to feel sorry for myself. It helps me realize all the good I have. Not many people would like to hear me sing, but I do. And it helps. :)
Good luck!
Thanks Sarah! Yeah I guess Blogger having major issues when I posted this so the comments people left got erased for some reason. Luckily I still have them in my email. Kind of weird. Thanks though for your awesome comment and insights! Will definitely be using it!
Dear Becca,
First, to answer your quest for input on the topic of self esteem I want to share this talk from a 2005 BYU Education Week: "Christ-Centered Healing from Depression and Low Self-Worth" by Carrie Wrigley; here's a link: http://www.byub.org/talks/Talk.aspx?id=1251. This is a powerful therapy session for me when I need a boost and might be helpful for the women in your area. Good luck with your talk I'm sure it will be awesome with your positive personality and upbeat approach to life!
Second, I have to confess I've been following your blog ever since I discovered your minute to win it posts in my search for party games for a primary activity. We had a blast with your game and music ideas! I also benefitted from your post about the Café Rio dinner you made for your husband’s birthday. I feel the same way about cooking but you inspired me to attempt all that for my own hubby and it was a huge hit! Your running blog has helped rekindle my will power and you have inspired me to run again. You have a talent for writing, taking photos, mothering, and life.
Thanks for your example and thanks for sharing!
A friend and fan in Okinawa Japan =o)
Thank you "friend and fan" in Japan! I appreciate you sharing that talk and I'm glad you've been enjoying my blog! Your comment definitely put a smile on my face. Thank you!
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