Yesterday I had a bad mom day.
I could blame it on a million things.
Moving stress, holiday stress, getting our house on the market stress, etc...
I'm not going to use those excuses though because I know I can be better.
All the things I've been stressing about don't even compare in importance to the two little people who call me mom. They don't need a perfectly clean house to show the realtor. They don't care if our Christmas cards are late. They won't mind if we bring all the boxes of "things I need to sort and get rid of" to our next house. What they need is their Mommy.
They need me to sit down and eat a meal with them. They need me to help them with their drawings and to compliment their fine artistic skills. They need me to read to them and teach them about the pictures they see in their books. They need me to be patient when they are cranky. They need help dressing their Polly pockets and fitting shapes into the sorter. They need me to be calm when they spill things and make messes because people are more important than things and houses were made to be lived in.
At the end of my bad mom day I found myself in Teya's room, kneeling by her bed and watching her sleep. I stroked her hair and whispered an apology for wasting one of our days together being a grumpy mom. I thought of a Michael McLean song I heard called a Lullaby for Me. One of the lines in the song says, "Today I couldn't be the mom you needed me to be, and tonight I wish that you could sing, a lullaby for me." Everyone has bad mom days, but I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't have another one for a long long time.
I could blame it on a million things.
Moving stress, holiday stress, getting our house on the market stress, etc...
I'm not going to use those excuses though because I know I can be better.
All the things I've been stressing about don't even compare in importance to the two little people who call me mom. They don't need a perfectly clean house to show the realtor. They don't care if our Christmas cards are late. They won't mind if we bring all the boxes of "things I need to sort and get rid of" to our next house. What they need is their Mommy.
They need me to sit down and eat a meal with them. They need me to help them with their drawings and to compliment their fine artistic skills. They need me to read to them and teach them about the pictures they see in their books. They need me to be patient when they are cranky. They need help dressing their Polly pockets and fitting shapes into the sorter. They need me to be calm when they spill things and make messes because people are more important than things and houses were made to be lived in.
At the end of my bad mom day I found myself in Teya's room, kneeling by her bed and watching her sleep. I stroked her hair and whispered an apology for wasting one of our days together being a grumpy mom. I thought of a Michael McLean song I heard called a Lullaby for Me. One of the lines in the song says, "Today I couldn't be the mom you needed me to be, and tonight I wish that you could sing, a lullaby for me." Everyone has bad mom days, but I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't have another one for a long long time.
15 comments:
Oh Becca, I know what you mean! This time of year is stressful no matter how hard you try to make it not be that way.
I've had lots of days like those recently! Anna asked me, "Mom are you mad at me?" No. "Mom, are you just tired?" No. "Then why are you using your grumpy voice?"
Broke my heart!
Becca--
We have all had days like that! And luckily, kids forgive us much faster than we forgive ourselves!
Um, yeah. Have had way too many of those days lately. I don't know what it is, but thanks for reminding me what is most important!
Gosh, I must be hormonal right now or something because this one brought a tear to me eye! Don't beat yourself up too much, everyone has days like that, I too have had far too many lately. I keep telling myself that "maybe when things calm down I'll"...take your pick of things I could do with my kids. Thanks for the reminder to slow down and enjoy them while they are little.
Yes, thanks for the reminder Becca;) Crazy how we all have been feeling the same lately...I too have been having some major grumpy days:( But thank you for your thoughts...it's nice to know that I'm not the only one stressed out! and feeling like the world's worst mom! haha:)
Ahhhh, tears! I know exactly how you feel.
Dude! We had the SAME day yesterday! Except that yesterday I realized that MOST of my days are like that and that all the cute things Brooklyn has learned lately, she learned from her daddy in the 5 minutes a day he actually gets to spend with her. How very sad considering I spend around 16 hours a day with her!
I want to be more like you, where it is an oddity to have gone through a day without spending endless hours catering to the needs and wants of a small child! You are awesome dude!
Yeah- did you see my post from when our furnace broke. Not my best day either. Sorry for the hard day- I find myself whispering apologies to sleeping kids too. But, where in the world is the balance between things that really do need to get done and things that are kids need us to do with them? I am struggling with this one lately.
Becca...you're a great mom! Mommyhood (I really do think) is one of the hardest jobs out there. We can never go home after business hours are over, call in sick or take a much needed vacation so its very understandable if we have some occasional break downs. I've had a few of those. We just have to jump on up and try to make the next day count.
This reminds me what I tell the kids when they say "This is the worst day ever" or anything like that. I tell them "It might be a bad moment, but it's a great day... It might be a bad day, but it's a great life." It's the whole picture that counts. Keep up your great work... You're right, the most important thing is now. We can never get it back.
I think all moms feel like this some days, at least I know I do. We are definitely harder on ourselves, but the fact that we beat ourselves up about this kind of thing truly shows the love we have for our kids :)
*sniff* So know what you mean, and the awful guilt that follows when you realize that you were a "bad" mom. *hugs*
Good thing kids are so forgiving, eh?
The other day when Maddy was here for a playdate Abby was having an uncommonly bad bossy/nonsharing day and I lost it. Maddy said, "My Mommy is always nice to everyone. How come you are not being nice?" I thought that was hilarious because sometimes before the day starts I literally visualize Adriann and think, how can I be more like her today :). And I do the same for you, because I have never seen you lose patience--this actually made me feel a little encouraged to know that even you lose patience--though you were probably meaner in your head than actually came out of your mouth!
You totally have my crying! It's the guilt! Too many bad mommy days around here. Thanks for the kind reminder of where I should be focused. Tomorrow, Alli will have a devoted Mommy. She thanks you too! I think you're a fabulous Mommy and are allowed to slip once in awhile!
Oh Bec, from your post I thought you must've been a really bad mom, but then I heard your story. If you saw me be a mom everyday you would probably have me locked up. You are a wonderful mother even on your worst days. I wish I could be half the mom you are. In fact today I was so inspired by you I sat down with Noa and we colored. Our first time, sad I know, but I was afraid of the mess and of him eating the crayons, but it was all worth it to see how much fun he had. Thanks for being such a good example.
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