What else is there?! How am I going to raise my daughters in this world where Beauty is worshiped and people ask, what else is there? How can I teach them that their worth has nothing to do with the clothes that they wear, the shape of their bodies, the color of their eyes, the way they fix their hair. What else is there? There is sooo much more, but when everywhere they turn they are bombarded with false images of "perfection" how can I teach them to believe that beauty really DOES come from within? I know it has to start with me believing that MYSELF!
Brinley has the most endearing scrumptious little rolls of chub that start at her wrists and go all the way up her arms. (see above picture) I adore them and smile every time I see them. Yet at the same time I berate myself for my own little collection of rolls and speak of them with disdain every time I catch a glimpse in the mirror. Why do I do that? I would never pinch her rolls in disgust or think they kept her from being wonderful in any way. So why do I feel like they keep me from being wonderful? I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father looks at us the same way we look at our children, with adoring, loving, accepting eyes. He doesn't care if I have a flat stomach, or perfect hair or amazingly long eyelashes. He doesn't care if I'm wearing name brand clothes or if I shaved my legs today or not. He looks at my heart, is there beauty there? I hope so. Because I could spend all day, every waking hour, trying to perfect my outward appearance, but if I neglect developing inner virtues, no amount of exercise, dieting or makeup could really make me beautiful.
Right now I'm coming to grips with the fact that no matter how much I exercise, I will never wear the size I wore when I was 15 again, and that's okay. I'm not 15, I'm almost 29! I've had 2 babies, I am not a model and no one ever sees me in my underwear so why the heck do I think I need to have a model's body anyway?! How can I teach my daughters to love their bodies and to feel beautiful as they are? By loving my body and feeling beautiful as I am. When I was 21 I wrote a poem about this. I found this poem the other day and feel the urgency to love myself even more now that I have two daughters who are looking to my example. It's a little cheesy, and maybe even a bit silly, but it has some good reminders for me, so I'm putting it up here to help me remember to love myself, imperfections and all.
I'm learning to love the girl that I see
When I look in the mirror and know that it's me.
I'm learning to love my thick inner thighs
and the zits on my face that I try to disguise.
I'm learning to love all the hair on my toes
and the fact that 5'2" is as much as I'll grow.
I'm learning to love all the folds in my tummy
and the cellulite dimples that speckle my bummy
and the way my eyelashes are short thick and stubby
and the way that my smile makes my cheeks look real chubby.
I'm learning ot love the person I am
and I'm learning to love how I fit in God's plan.
I'm learning to love all my quirks and my "isms"
for learning is freedom from vanity's prison.
I choose to be free from the chains of deception
that bind me to falsified views of perfection.
I refuse to believe that my body is ugly
if I size 4 or 5 fits around me to snugly.
I'm learning that beauty is more than skin deep,
it's the sum of our souls, it's the values we keep.
It's the way we develop our talents and skills,
it's the way that we conquer adversities hills.
It's the way we treat others, and God up above,
it's the way that each day we are learning to love.
When I look in the mirror and know that it's me.
I'm learning to love my thick inner thighs
and the zits on my face that I try to disguise.
I'm learning to love all the hair on my toes
and the fact that 5'2" is as much as I'll grow.
I'm learning to love all the folds in my tummy
and the cellulite dimples that speckle my bummy
and the way my eyelashes are short thick and stubby
and the way that my smile makes my cheeks look real chubby.
I'm learning ot love the person I am
and I'm learning to love how I fit in God's plan.
I'm learning to love all my quirks and my "isms"
for learning is freedom from vanity's prison.
I choose to be free from the chains of deception
that bind me to falsified views of perfection.
I refuse to believe that my body is ugly
if I size 4 or 5 fits around me to snugly.
I'm learning that beauty is more than skin deep,
it's the sum of our souls, it's the values we keep.
It's the way we develop our talents and skills,
it's the way that we conquer adversities hills.
It's the way we treat others, and God up above,
it's the way that each day we are learning to love.
"What else is there?" I can think of a few things right now: There is kindness, gentleness, hard work, dependability, forgiveness, humility, generosity, graciousness, wisdom, warmth, caring, sacrifice, service, knowledge, faith and love. Those are the qualities of some of the most gorgeous and beautiful women I know. Those women might not ever make it on the cover of a fashion magazine, but they are stunningly beautiful. Next time I'm tempted to talk bad about my rolls or any other wonderful part of myself, I'll remember that : )
18 comments:
Good post Becca! It is definitely hard not to get caught up in trying to be perfect and beautiful, and all that. But it is a good reminder to look at our children and know that they are beautiful, inside and out and we should feel the same way about ourselves. Thanks for the reminder!
Oh and for the record...you are incredible gorgeous, inside and OUT! A little jealous sometimes... :)
Great Post! Thanks for sharing:)
Very good post and something I think almost every woman needs to remind keep reminding themselves. Beauty comes from within!
I love this post! It's so hard to not play the comparison game but I swear it's in our female genes or something, but it's so true we can only be the best "me". And at some point we have to take into account the example we are setting for our children. Thanks for sharing you poem and your feelings! It makes me feel like Im not alone!
A big fat AMEN to you sister!
Becca,
I don't know what you are talking about. This is the most fit, slim, trim and healthy I have ever seen you. You look absolutely marvelous Darling! I have to say that the sweet, beautiful , funny and positive girl that radiates from inside makes the whole package even more wonderful. You are beautiful and absolutely delightful and refreshing as always.
Love you tons!
Mom
Love it! My favorite post ever!
beautiful words, spoken from a beautiful woman, who has two beautiful daughters.... who are all related to the beautiful ME! AH HA HA HA JK ABOUT THE LAST PART. but really bec great post. I love that poem. always have always will. xoxoxoxoxo
Great post Becca.
We have had that movie ever since my older boys were very little. (They like the bow and arrow parts!) That part always annoyed the heck out of me too! Love the post. I definately can echo all of your thought and concerns. you just put it way more eloquantly thatn me!
Those are some great thoughts, and we all need to be reminded of that from time to time! By the way, you and all of your sisters were blessed with extraordinary physical beauty but it's what's inside that makes you all so completely beautiful! Thanks for sharing those thoughts, it's good to be reminded about what really matters!
Big fat AMEN too (and I have the fat part down ;-)
Can I share your poem with the Young Women? I'm working on a lesson about goal planning (September 23 is 100 days until the end of the year, ya know) and I'm trying to get them to focus on something completely different.
Thanks girl. I am also trying to come to grips about some realities of my body. Like- the twins did a number on my stomach and no amount of running will fix it. Hard to face but true! There is so much more to life than beauty. (I wasn't supposed to be checking blogs!!!)
What a WONDERFUL post! You have no idea how much it means to read this post right now. I am having some issues with myself and my own body image. Your post and the great poem helped me put things into perspective. I know that exercising and eating properly are good for me, but I shouldn't do them simply because I want to be "perfect" in the eyes of the world, but I should instead do them to better myself, to prolong my life, to set a good example for my daughters, etc..... Thanks for the help with the reality check!
The power of mass media, marketing and the insecurities of the human teenager (to start with) has turned "beauty" into something so superficial.
When someone comments to me, "Your sisters are so beautiful" my immediate response is always "Yeah, they're great kids" It takes me a second to realize that they are referring to the outward beauty, I mean, they don't know you, they just see your pictures. You're all lovely girls as far as appearance goes, but as you said, you are so much more than some expertly applied mascara or a yoga aided tight buttocks.
I think when people get to know you, they soon look past your physical glow and base their love for you, their perception of your beauty, on your personality, character, interaction with others, the things that really make us who we are.
Beautiful post sis!
Oh, and as far as the girls...make it a point as they grow up to point out "beauty" both inner and outer beauty. Don't let the magazines, television and other media be the only input they have on that front. Show them the true beauty in other people when you see it. That would be a start I think, not that I've ever tried the parenting thing!
Thanks for this post - I love it! You are so right, and it was a good reminder. Awesome poem, too.
Thanks for that Becca! I think I've heard your poem before.. maybe in YW back in MP1? It seemed familiar and I loved it! It's good to have that reminder!
I'm just going to say, "Amen!"
I also think that a lot of people need to learn how to simply say, "Thank you" when someone else compliments them. Most compliments are not offered in jest--they are offered in sincerity. By learning to say "Thank you," we learn to listen to those truths.
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