The sensible part of my brain knows that I'm pregnant, and that the changes in my body are all a part of the miracle of growing a human being. I also know that my outward appearance doesn't change who I am or what makes me beautiful, or special, or of worth. I know that no matter what shape or size I am that my husband and children will still love me and think I'm the best! But despite knowing all those things, I still sometimes see my reflection and have to work really hard not to get down on myself.
Part of the problem is that I have been guilty of the ridiculous and pointless exercise of comparing myself to others. It just seems like everywhere I look I see pictures in maternity ads of stylish skinny moms-to-be, or my cute friends on Facebook who are pregnant and still running races and looking fabulous, while I can barely waddle out a mile on the treadmill, (and that's on a good day!)
I look at the maternity magazines and the models with all their adorable little baby bumps, Then I look at my own baby "boulder" accompanied by my swollen face, legs, arms and chins and sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, it's hard not to feel like a big blubbery whale.
The truth is though, some people look like this when they're pregnant...
And some people look like this.
And both are totally okay!
I've honestly been reluctant to post any pictures of myself just because of the way our society and
the media is so cruel to anyone who, heaven forbid, looks pregnant when they're PREGNANT!
I don't read these magazines but I see them every time I go grocery shopping and watching this woman get ripped apart and ridiculed during her pregnancy I couldn't help but be affected by it. Who wouldn't be afraid of gaining weight, even when pregnant, if the media is going to shred you like that?
Luckily I don't have paparazzi following me so I can be very selective about the images I post of myself. I posted this picture as my profile pic on FB and Instagram a couple weeks ago because it was a flattering angle and acceptable to society's "standards" of what you should look like when you're pregnant.
But that's not really what I look like.
And I realized today after talking to my sister that I don't need to be embarrassed about all the other pictures I take that are a truer reflection of my pregnant self.
Like this one…
Or this one…
Or this one.
This is how I look when I'm pregnant.
My cheeks get big and adorably chunky. My arms, neck, legs and backside all seem to want to join the party and get "pregnant"too along with my belly. That's normal (for me) and that's ok! Some people can run when they're pregnant, I cannot, (believe me I've tried!) and that's okay too. Everyone does pregnancy different, and I can't beat myself up because mine doesn't match up to someone else's. My sister reminded me today that I don't need to compare myself to others. She also reminded me that this is just a season of my life, and seasons come and go so enjoy the journey.
I really am happy to be pregnant and I'm going to enjoy these last 9 weeks, and smile at my reflection, and not be afraid to post pictures, and not feel like I need to make excuses for my size or weight. This is how I look when I'm pregnant, and that is okay!
9 comments:
Thanks for posting Becca! I've had the same problem, I think social media has made being pregnant even harder! I just had a baby and I'm now dealing with the after math of being a "real" pregnant girl. It can be depressing, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my fear and struggles with my body change. I think you're beautiful though! embrace that cute belly and know soon enough you will be running races again and back to your old self! (That's what I'm telling myself!) enjoy this time! Loves! Jamie hammond Meacham
You ARE beautiful--outside and IN! I think that Satan must love how he can manipulate beautiful, valiant women to think less of themselves while they are performing one of the greatest acts of service and are so close to the divine. Keep carrying yourself with pride, Mama! You are doing an amazing work!
This reminds me of a conversation I overheard Tony having with Stephen yesterday. Tony was talking back to Stephen and Stephen gently said something about having respect for your father who brought you into the world. Tony didn't miss a beat and replied, "What?!? You didn't bring me into this world, Mom did!" I had to chuckle to myself despite hit disrespectful tone. He knows who carried him inside their belly all that time!
When I am pregnant I don't really get sick or all that uncomfortable, but just like you, my self esteem gets really out of whack. I have to remind myself constantly of the amazing miracle I am performing and giving of my time and talents to create a beautiful baby in my belly.
On the other hand when I see other women pregnant I think they are the most beautiful women I've ever come across! Glowing with pure joy of meeting their sweet little one. Not being afraid to wear shirts that hug the curves on their cute bellies. I think you are perfectly stunning and I can't wait to see your sweet baby girl!
Those maternity models could have basketballs up their shirts for all we know! I even worked out 4 days a week with Desi on an elliptical and still gained and gained, but those beautiful, healthy, chunky babies are worth every pound!
Love this post! I started getting SO anxious about gaining weight when I got pregnant. It's so strange to see your body change so quickly. You look beautiful & happy. Oh, and those skinny models have fake baby bumps! It's ridiculous!
I felt great the first couple of weeks, but after that it was one long road. By the end, I felt like a big blog! Bed rest for six months will do that to you...in the end, I just had to tell myself -all the time- that this was part of the plan for my little twin boys to come into this world. I think you look amazing, beautiful, and I am proud of your honesty. The link I am posting is a photo of me one day before I went in to give birth!
From my blog 4 years ago!
http://www.ahappyheartblog.blogspot.com/2009/11/anatomy-of-pregnant-woman.html
This is very well said Becca! I have such a sweet tooth, I weigh more than what I was when I delivered my first son and am 4 pounds less than my second delivery. That's just how it goes sometimes so I have been feeling like next time I'd be disgustingly round. Thanks for this!
Becca,
It is so interesting you post this. When I saw the pictures of what you "really look like when you are pregnant" I thought you looked beautiful and radiant! I would want to look like you any day....you are amazing inside and out. Thanks for your honesty though....and truly, you are the pregnant lady that others look at and wish they could look like you when they are pregnant. :)
Becca, you are beautiful in these photos. You always have been
I happen to think you are an adorable pregnant lady, but I completely understand this post. :) When i took pictures while I was pregnant with Landon, I can't tell you how many I would make Cameron take, just so I was at the perfect angle to make me look as small as possible. It is frustrating that the media makes it seem so abnormal for people to not just have the basketball belly and look completely normal everywhere else, because that is so unrealistic....and the people that DO look like that pregnant have some amazing genes or something! Either way, you are beautiful, and we all know that that baby weight is going to fall off once you become a running maniac again!
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